How to GET IN the Arena of Your Life

November 2015

When I hear the word arena, I call to mind a boxing ring. And when I think of a boxing ring, I feel kind of intimidated at the thought of bright lights, sweaty muscles, mean faces, and flying blood. 

But when I think of boxing MOVIES, I feel fired up. The message and storyline of a good boxing movie is one of the best ways I know to renew my own motivation & champion spirit (Warrior is one of my absolute faves.) 

Growing up, I was painfully shy. The teachers called home to ask my parents if they were sure I wasn’t mute. Trait shyness mixed with abundant fear created the probability for me to dread & loathe grade school, and any social activity pretty much whatsoever. I was way too content to sit on the sidelines of my life, the forever wallflower at parties. 

There is nothing inherently wrong with wallflowering or shyness, or even fear. 

Except for the fact that it was holding me back from truly participating IN my life. It kept me from the very things I desired—career opportunities, going on dates, making friends, new sports. I was a passive passenger, an extra in my own movie. My heart really wanted to be in the game, but my mind kept me out.

Life is not well-played as a spectator sport. You’ve gotta get in the ring, and get messy. Messiness, I really believe, is a byproduct of DOING IT RIGHT. But we all think it’s the other way around and that we’re doing it wrong if it’s messy and ungraceful. Stumbles, trips, and falls; fear, anxiety, and panic; blood, sweat, and tears—they are all part and parcel of a life that is lived. 

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. -Anais Nin

It is true that I am shy, tend toward introversion, and feel a lot uneasy in front of a crowd. And yet, that is precisely why I want to, and need to, run TOWARD the crowd. 

It is also true that I have so much I want to say and share, and for that reason alone, it deserves to be said and shared. Muzzled voices and suppressed spirits serve noone.

And furthermore—the power of fear strengthens with avoidance. As soon as it is faced/shared/told, a sense of freedom is found. Just because fear is present does not mean it has to control us. 

“If you’re paralyzed with fear, it’s a good sign. It shows you what you have to do.” -Steven Pressfield

I often get palpable fear when speaking in front of a group. So I practice doing it, on a consistent basis. With exposure, it has lessened, but in new situations or extremely large groups, I feel like I’m back in kindergarten and my vocal chords just don’t work. 

But I practice. I practice running right up to the fear and shaking hands with it. I beeline to the boxing ring before I realize what I’ve done, jump over those rubber bungee thingys, and stand in the arena. 

There is no growth without challenge, no courage without fear, and no confidence without overcoming. 

“If it’s both terrifying and amazing then you should definitely pursue it.” -Erada

We don’t have to BE ready to start. We just have to get ready. And then we have to start. We don't have to be unafraid, but just to act in spite of it. Start where you are at this very moment—you can’t get to C by skipping A and B. 

Start afraid.

Start messy. 

Start small. 

Start tired. 

Start too busy. 

Start at odds. 

Start inexperienced.

But start.