"somehow the farther along you get into it,
the more warped ones perspective gets.
and the more you want to believe what he's saying
because the alternative is too painful.
you just end up...sort of trapped."
- Sarma Melngailis
Read More
However, compassion and accountability are not mutually exclusive. There are no excuses for bad behavior or inflicting harm on another. Ever. We all have trauma - it is not our faults but it is our responsibilities to break these cycles. Men are entirely responsible for getting on board with the healing movement. I don’t mean the faux spiritual, bypassy bullshit, namaste, we are all one, instagrammable healing movement. I mean real, in the trenches, messy, healing work that no one sees because it happens in the dark between you and you or you and God.
Read More
In simplest terms, codependency is a relationship pattern of losing ourselves in another person and has been called the “disease of the lost self.” More specifically, being codependent involves behavior where there is excessive enabling, controlling, and caretaking within the relationship. It’s worth mentioning here that we all, at one time or another, fall somewhere on the spectrum of codependency.
Read MoreThere's that saying, "what we allow is what will continue." It is 100% accurate, in my experience. If I don't want other people to give me their shit, I don't take it. I don't accept shit gifts. I kindly say, no thanks. And walk away. I also try not to give shit gifts to anyone else. I take ownership of my own stuff and let others take ownership of theirs.
Noone has the ability to MAKE YOU FEEL any which way, unless you hand over your rights and let them. This reminds me of another good one-liner, "if you don't want people to drive you crazy, don't give them they keys."
Read More