In simplest terms, codependency is a relationship pattern of losing ourselves in another person and has been called the “disease of the lost self.” More specifically, being codependent involves behavior where there is excessive enabling, controlling, and caretaking within the relationship. It’s worth mentioning here that we all, at one time or another, fall somewhere on the spectrum of codependency.
Read MoreLearning about what Gary Chapman has termed "The 5 Love Languages" has revolutionized my life. When I started to understand, truly understand, that there are various ways to speak love, outside of saying "I love you," my relationships felt injected with pure hope. I began to adopt this much broader view of love and all of it's expressions.
Read MoreSocially anxious sober folk: The brain chatter that usually disappears with a drink is going to actually be there, but you have the power to quiet it down yourself. Arrive to the event as centered as possible by having some time to yourself beforehand (i.e. quick meditation/quiet time, listening to happy music on the drive/walk/ride over or listening to a motivational tape, etc.)
Read MoreMy sordid past includes relationships with men that were quite unhealthy. Ones that were highly codependent and lacked simple boundaries. I essentially attracted what I was: sick and lost.
I spotted the guy who would "co-sign" my bullshit cause I would co-sign his. I found guys that needed someone to worship them. Worship I did.
Read MoreThere's that saying, "what we allow is what will continue." It is 100% accurate, in my experience. If I don't want other people to give me their shit, I don't take it. I don't accept shit gifts. I kindly say, no thanks. And walk away. I also try not to give shit gifts to anyone else. I take ownership of my own stuff and let others take ownership of theirs.
Noone has the ability to MAKE YOU FEEL any which way, unless you hand over your rights and let them. This reminds me of another good one-liner, "if you don't want people to drive you crazy, don't give them they keys."
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