Socially anxious sober folk: The brain chatter that usually disappears with a drink is going to actually be there, but you have the power to quiet it down yourself. Arrive to the event as centered as possible by having some time to yourself beforehand (i.e. quick meditation/quiet time, listening to happy music on the drive/walk/ride over or listening to a motivational tape, etc.)
Read MoreAfter breakfast comes a moment of pause as I am faced with the two diverged roads. I can head right into my workday with a frenzied mentality and get suffocated by my email inbox and my lengthy to-do list. Or—I can take a few minutes to do some deep-breathing & sit quietly, a.k.a. meditation. I refer to meditation as my “adult time-out.”
Because just like a child’s time-out, if I don’t take a breather and carve out some space to be still & breathe, then I am susceptible to being cranky, unruly, and acting on my every emotion under stress.
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Read MoreA single woman in her prime stands out as an outlier and it feels a little alienating. And I think there’s a tendency to wonder why we’ve been single for what seems like centuries, what must be wrong with us?
I’ve learned that I am enough for me. Period. No man decides and determines my worth as a woman. I don't need a man to tell me I'm beautiful because I tell myself that. And I have never felt more empowered or attractive than I do right now, utterly manless and unspoken for.
Read MorePerfectionism, attachment to outcome & results, wanting to get it RIGHT, thinking we are defined by our jobs--this is our ego. Our spirit, our soul, doesn't care about results or what we look like on paper. The ego wants to be "good at it," but the spirit could care less and just loves the process. Our spirit craves adventure and new learning experiences. This is why "failure" is good for the soul. These experiences grow us.
If we can reframe all our "failures" as opportunities to learn, well, I deem that a success. Welcome failure as your teacher. It means opportunity is at the door. It means something is about to be learned or about to change. Failure is character-building at it's very finest.
Read MoreThere's that saying, "what we allow is what will continue." It is 100% accurate, in my experience. If I don't want other people to give me their shit, I don't take it. I don't accept shit gifts. I kindly say, no thanks. And walk away. I also try not to give shit gifts to anyone else. I take ownership of my own stuff and let others take ownership of theirs.
Noone has the ability to MAKE YOU FEEL any which way, unless you hand over your rights and let them. This reminds me of another good one-liner, "if you don't want people to drive you crazy, don't give them they keys."
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But growing up as sensitive or empathetic, we learn that we are oversensitive, too much, too emotional, cry babies, wimps, too fragile, over-reactors. So what is given to us as a gift—our sensitive nature—is often squashed, repressed, and stifled.
And when we don’t know how to use our superpower sensitivities for good, the weight of the world’s suffering will most definitely crush us. My sensitivity felt like a wicked curse for a long time, before I learned how to treasure it like the blessing it is.
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When I realized I had to ‘get out of my own way’, I needed to literally tell myself that it was okay to have fun, feel at ease, and live in peace. I needed to retrain my brain and teach my body to feel comfortable when things were going smoothly.
Our bodies seek homeostasis, which is to keep our internal conditions relatively constant. If we are in constant crisis, our bodies will want more of that.
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It's okay to be sad. It's okay to be angry. It's okay to be hurt & cry. It's okay to feel all the feels. The only emotion I believe serves no real purpose is shame.
I just had a really rough day yesterday, and quite frankly, a difficult last week. I cried so many tears my eyeballs were sore and red and I felt exhausted, like a child after they've had such an intense tantrum that they pass out. Not to be dramatic, or anything.
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It’s free, easy, quick, and simple. It’s life-altering and mood-enhancing. “It turns whatever you have into enough,” says Melody Beattie.
When I found myself in a very deep and dark black-hole depression in the fall of 2014, I vowed to do everything within my power to never end up in that place again. I was already practicing many healthy habits, but I promised I would do whatever else I could to stay in the light.
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Where on earth does one get this self-love you speak of? I thought to myself. Can I get it at the store? Is it something I can order off Amazon with free prime shipping?
We are born with self-love, and then we learn fear as we grow up. We learn to fear our power and doubt our abilities, and some of us learn to neglect, abuse, and hate ourselves, our bodies. So much so that we participate in destroying ourselves. A lot of us learn negative self-talk which is equally destructive. But no matter how we got this way, it remains our choice whether we choose to heal and be kind to ourselves, from this day forward.
On a very fundamental & intuitive level, when we remember our child within, it deters us from treating him or her badly. It deters us from calling ourselves dumb or ugly or fat or worthless. Because what we are doing to ourselves, we are, in essence, doing to our inner children.
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When I hear the word arena, I call to mind a boxing ring. And when I think of a boxing ring, I feel kind of intimidated at the thought of bright lights, sweaty muscles, mean faces, and flying blood.
But when I think of boxing movies, I feel fired up. The message and storyline of a good boxing movie is one of the best ways I know to renew my own motivation & champion spirit (Warrior is one of my absolute faves.)
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